Saturday, December 26, 2009

Best Mom Tip #73: Offer a toast

Jay and I are not poetic people. We are pretty practical and we don't often record our emotions or even life's events.

But we are very grateful. We celebrated our 12th Christmas as a married couple this year. Since that first one we've had 5 addresses, 5 jobs each, 6 cars, at least a dozen vacations, and 2 and 1/3 kids. We've had our cars towed at least 3 times, had roof leaks at least twice, had a busted water main line, and had to replace an HVAC system in July while I was 8 months pregnant.

We've paid for a Master's Degree, supported each other through periods of unemployment, and experienced both raises and pay cuts. We've gone to funerals for grandparents and great aunts and uncles, weddings for siblings and cousins, and to the hospital to visit at least 10 new babies. We buried my beloved aunt for whom my daughter is named.

We almost lost my dad, we watched our siblings become adults, and we prayed desperately for the health of lots of friends and relatives.

There are a lot more things--it has been 12 years. But through it all we have developed one toast that we offer up for every Christmas, Valentine's Day, and anniversary: To more of the same.

So for this year and the next 60 to come, "to more of the same."

Monday, December 21, 2009

Best Mom Tip #72: Take deep breaths

I went to the doctor this past week and HL3 had a good, strong heartbeat (we called our first child HLB for healthy little baby before she arrived). It is always reassuring to hear that beautiful sound especially at this point in the pregnancy when you don't have many other symptoms. I am lucky in that I don't show weight immediately, but the downside is that when I'm pregnant it takes me a really long time to actually LOOK pregnant. The result is that I just look chubby until the 6th month or so. It is not good for my ego. With no obvious bump and no more nausea I was getting a little nervous.

Anyway, I feel the need to take deep breaths because I am worried about I will manage loving all three of my babies. And how I will give them attention. And I will sleep. My son keeps waking up in the middle of the night for some unknown reason that I can't figure out and I find myself thinking "how will they ever all sleep through the night?" I realize that lots of people have more than two children, but they are not my immediate family members so I feel out of my element.

So deep breaths. I have 6 months to figure it out.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Best Mom Tip #71: Keep your options open

So today I am 12 weeks pregnant with my third child. I am excited and nervous and decidedly disappointed with the general reactions of our family and friends. I should have told them I was getting a puppy. I'm aware I have another kid under 2 and, yes, I have a firm grasp of biology. I am intentionally having another child. On purpose. Right now.

Jay and I just didn't feel done after the last one. Well, we did for about 5 months, but then we started sleeping again and we realized we liked the chaos. I really like my children. And who regrets another human being to love and be loved by? Also, these are the people who will take care of me in my dotage so I'm o.k. trying to stack the deck in my favor. Surely one of them will want to take Mom into their home when I'm no longer able to order myself dinner--because heaven knows if the children are grown I certainly won't be cooking.

The baby is due in June, which is great for this school year, but means I have to again make decisions about working or not come August. Or what I will do with myself if I stay home. Who knows what my life will look like 7 months from now--well, louder and with me responsible for more poop, but other than that I'm not sure. I'm trying to keep my options open.