Best Mom Tip #115: Invest in a HazMat suit

If I am honest, I have to admit that I do not own an actual HazMat suit. What I do have are my husband's candy-cane-print pajama bottoms and a maternity tank top covered in goo. I have been pooped on 3 times today. I was barfed on once. It is easier to point out the spots that my toddler has NOT drooled on than to explain the various wet spots and stains covering this ensemble.

Although I am making the baby wear a bib constantly to attempt to avoid getting spit-up everywhere he seems to know this and therefore leans over to spit up on his mattress, my bed, his blanket, my pants, and Griffin.

If I had a HazMat suit on I guarantee I'd get a better reception from the people at Starbucks than I do when I walk in with my kids while wearing sensible flats. I would also feel a lot more like a person with a job. Where do you think you buy these things?