Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. It feels like both a minute and a lifetime since Jay and I said our vows and started our life together. On the anniversary of major events-our wedding, the births of our children-we like to play "what were we doing right now x years ago today"?
Fifteen years ago today I had my hair and makeup done by two different people who were not me. I carefully took a nap while wearing a veil that I draped over the back of a chair and no one interrupted my sleep. I wore the most expensive outfit of my life. I had a moment waiting for the ceremony to start when I thought "oh my God, what am I doing? This is forever!" And then I remembered that I was marrying Jay and that didn't sound overwhelming or scary at all. It felt right and it made me smile.
We repeated our vows and when I said, "with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you" I realized that I was committing not just to love and to cherish, but to respect and support and encourage. I was promising to put my husband above all others in my life. And Jay promised the same to me.
Today was not like that. I took Baby Jack to the ENT way across town and it took 2 1/2 hours for 15 minutes with health care professionals. I took the kids to Chick-fil-A because we came home from vacation yesterday afternoon and there was nothing to eat in our house. Also, we hadn't been in over a week and I figured they missed us. I took four kids to the grocery and bought random things because I didn't have a list.
I took the kids swimming and changed them into their suits and sprayed them with sunscreen and packed snacks. I was trying to wear them out because they are jet lagged and staying up late giggling, but I overshot and my 2-year-old just fell asleep in the car on the way home and then stayed up until 10.
My "getting ready" involved a shower and scrubbing the chipped polish off of my big toes because it had already come off of all the other toes and looked rather sad. I did put on some makeup but couldn't find several different items and mostly just gave up and went with the same stuff I wear every other day I have to look like a grown up. It was not particularly romantic.
But at 5pm, on my way home from swimming, my children all started singing along with the radio. The oldest two did pretty well, the third one sang the words one line behind the others, and the baby used a sing-song version of his "ahahahahahah" talking sounds. It was loud and off key and made me think of how much better this was than having pictures taken before our wedding.
At dinner tonight the power went out and we ate by candle light and talked about what our 21 and 22-year old selves would think about our lives if we could have foreseen this. I think we'd be surprised that we have 4 kids and that I stay home with them. I think we'd be pleased at the trips we've taken and the places we've seen. I think we'd be grateful and excited that we are so happy and that there is so much love in our house.
My cup runneth over. Fifteen years ago today was a good day, but it was not as good as today.