Best Mom Tip #148: Sing happy birthday anyway

The President and I share a birthday.

His 50th is front page news for some reason. My 35th is mostly remarked upon by my mother and Facebook. (BTW, thanks for the Facebook wishes, guys.) It's not that I don't feel lucky and loved in my life, but I do start to feel like I may not actually be "special."

You know how when we were little kids and our elementary school counselors told us things like, "you are all unique" and "everyone is special." Never mind that those are blatantly untrue statements that grossly misrepresent the definitions of both unique and special. It seemed like a nice thing to say and I always thought I was pretty special, if I did say so myself.

It turns out that, again based on my information from Facebook, I am not. A lot of us seem to be living quite similar lives. We are parents and spouses and employees. Some are divorced, some stay home with their kids. But pretty much, we are all just living our relatively quiet lives.

I somehow do not think that I will be running the nation in 15 years. Nor do I think that in 3 years I will be gracing the cover of a magazine like 38-year-old Heidi Klum is on the cover of this month's Marie Claire.

I get Marie Claire because in a bizarre twist of irony, I am rewarded for consistent recycling by earning random magazine subscriptions. I also get O.

The Heidi Klum article points out that she gets her great shape by "chasing her kids around" and strength training. I am so tired of celebrities who say they are in shape because they chase their kids. Where are their kids going and are they hopped up on drugs that they are so difficult to catch that it burns calories? They also say horseback riding a lot, but doesn't that seem like more of a workout for the horse?

Anyway, I guess I feel old. I am middle-aged. I am not going to be the president or on the cover of a magazine. Although why I am so annoyed by a German supermodel, I do not know. I blame Project Runway and an affinity for Michael J. Fox in Spin City.

My kids, and this is where they really come in handy, are ecstatic that it is my birthday. They have been "decorating." Which I will have to clean up tomorrow, but still. They got out party hats from Harry's birthday and wore them to breakfast. They are thrilled that there will be cake tonight with dinner.

I may not be happy about getting older, but we're singing happy birthday anyway.

Best Mom Tip #147: Read this in New Hampshire

You know how you're supposed to leave questions blank on the SAT if you don't know the answer? Yeah, I couldn't do that. I filled in a bubble on every line no matter what.

It drives me nuts when Jay leaves open the kitchen cabinets because there is now a gaping hole.

In my music appreciation class in college our professor told us a legend about, ummmm.... let's say... Mozart, and how his mom/paramour/whatever woke him up with an unfinished cadence. Like playing "shave-and-a-haircut" but leaving off the "two-bits." Mozart (or whoever this is about) would have to get out of bed just to play the last couple of notes. Obviously I don't remember any other details about this legend except that that would drive me nuts, too.

I have a problem with unfinished things.

Well, unfinished irrelevant things, at least. Pile of laundry on the bed/chair/pool table--no problem. Half of the dishes unloaded from the dishwasher--that's how it's supposed to look.

But putting down a book in the middle of a chapter? Beginning a pattern of anything and not being able to complete it? These things drive me absolutely nuts to the point that I will give up sleep and forgo dessert to take care of them.

So what does that have to do with New Hampshire? Just this: Blogger lets you see a map overlay of where in the world people have seen your blog. Although people in over 100 countries have accidentally found their way here, no one in New Hampshire ever has.

It's the only state not represented. It drives me crazy that the whole map is green...except for New Hampshire. I don't even know what Blogger is tracking when it tells me this and it still annoys me. For all I know New Hampshire doesn't have it's own system and any views from there show up as Vermont. They are really close together. And seem to be hugging.

But, really, no one? Ever? I mean, I have readers in India (what's up New Delhi?!!). And Iran. And once, someone in the Sudan stumbled here. How is it that no one in New Hampshire has ever wanted to buy their mom a "you're the best mom" t-shirt and clicked on my blog by mistake? Go ahead, google "best mom." You'll see what I mean.

So, help out a neurotic and obsessive person. Get someone in New Hampshire to read this so I can move on with my life.