Best Mom Tip #115: Invest in a HazMat suit

If I am honest, I have to admit that I do not own an actual HazMat suit. What I do have are my husband's candy-cane-print pajama bottoms and a maternity tank top covered in goo. I have been pooped on 3 times today. I was barfed on once. It is easier to point out the spots that my toddler has NOT drooled on than to explain the various wet spots and stains covering this ensemble.

Although I am making the baby wear a bib constantly to attempt to avoid getting spit-up everywhere he seems to know this and therefore leans over to spit up on his mattress, my bed, his blanket, my pants, and Griffin.

If I had a HazMat suit on I guarantee I'd get a better reception from the people at Starbucks than I do when I walk in with my kids while wearing sensible flats. I would also feel a lot more like a person with a job. Where do you think you buy these things?

Best Mom Tip #114: Buy multiples of your jeans

I have mentioned, once or twice, that I cannot currently wear a lot of my clothes. This is primarily because of the 55 pound swing in my weight over the last year during my third pregnancy. Regardless of the reason, the result is that I have one pair of jeans that I wear pretty much every day.

Yesterday, I wore a hole in the thighs of these jeans. This happened to me once before with a pair of ridiculously expensive designer jeans, but I chalked that up to the fact that they were really soft to begin with and were probably not meant to be worn on a regular basis. The jeans I wore a hole in yesterday were Levi's. I'm pretty sure that the Levi Strauss company started as a product for miners during the gold rush days.

I can't help but feel a bit self-conscious that my thighs seem to have the same erosive properties as the California rivers miners were panning in 150 years ago.