Monday, December 22, 2008

Best Mom Tip #13: Buy a good pair of fat jeans

If you have given birth, you know that your body changes in ways that will never return to their previous state. This is not to say that you will be fat for eternity, but you will NOT be "just like your old self." Before I had my oldest child I really rebelled against this thought. I saw people who were thin and fit after they had children and I thought that people who complained about their post-baby bodies were just lazy. Then I had a child.

I was not fat by any means once I had the baby, but my body didn't look quite the same. I changed bra sizes during and after I finished nursing. Who knows what will happen when I finish nursing this time. My favorite pants just didn't fit the same even after I lost all the baby weight. I'm pretty sure that if I had measured beforehand, I would discover that my rib cage is actually wider than it was before I gave birth. I also have permanent bags under my eyes, but that may not be pregnancy related.

Every woman has this revelation and the ones who swear they are just the same after childbirth are lying. Sure, Heidi Klum looked great rockin' the new Victoria's Secret underwear on the runway 2 months after giving birth. But she still didn't look like she did before she got pregnant. She was rounder. Softer. Beautiful, yes, but not the same. And since I really didn't look like Heidi before I was pregnant, I am probably not going to be entering that Project Runway look-alike contest now that we have both given birth more than once.

So what are we mortal women to do? Buy some good fat jeans. And eat well and workout and refuse to give in to the bulge of middle age. But first buy fat jeans. Get goods ones--ones that flatter your shape and have some stretch to them so that you aren't constantly tugging at your clothes. I've had good luck with Levi's 512--tummy control; waistband that doesn't create a muffin top or look like high-waisted mom jeans; slight boot cut so there's no taper.

Your fat jeans aren't forever--they are for running errands with your 2-month-old during the day and lounging in at night. They are for wearing out when you are 3 months pregnant the next time. They are for going shopping in once you've lost the weight and you've realized that your favorite designer jeans are a little bit uncomfortable now--they just don't hit you right anymore.

Being a mom often means forgoing things for yourself and not paying attention to your personal appearance, but it doesn't have to. Although you don't want to buy an entire new wardrobe every time you gain a little weight (due to babies or otherwise), you can get new jeans and fake the rest. And when you feel better about yourself--when you feel like you look decent and not unkempt--you have more patience, more confidence, and are generally a nicer person. Your kids will tell you that you look pretty no matter what--just do this one little thing for you.


  1. Just wanted to let you know that I've been on "vacation" for exactly two days and already found myself in tears while cleaning the kitchen. What's the point? No matter how hard I scrub, the little once-silver things on the stove won't come completely clean and next week I'll be doing it all over again anyway.

    There is no way that I will finish my list before people come over Christmas Eve. I haven't finished shopping, and I don't even know what I'm going to buy or where to look. And the day after Christmas we will drive 12 hours to Georgia where I will spend the remainder of my "vacation" visiting with others when all I really want is 1 hour to myself...and a clean house. When do I get to go back to school?

    Anyway...I was hoping your blog (which I haven't had time to read since your initial email) would make me feel happier...or at least less alone. And it did. :) Perhaps I will read it again during Spring Break.

  2. I am so on board with this post. After #2, I refused to buy "fat clothes" in an effort to motivate myself to lose the weight. It ended up having exactly the opposite effect. I felt so awful about myself that it actually made it worse. When the baby was about 10 months old, my mother herded me to the store and forced me into some new clothes and it was transformative! It was then that I decided that I needed to dress the body I have, not the one I want.
    That doesn't mean that I don't get undressed in the closet and avoid mirrors if at all possible, but at least I don't spend the day tugging and pulling at ill-fitting clothes!