Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Best Mom Tip #14: React like the President

I'm talking Bush here and no, I don't mean use "enhanced interrogation techniques" to discover where your toddler hid the car keys. (Side note: my brother once hung our family's car keys on the Christmas tree so you might try looking there if yours are currently missing.) What I want to discuss are the cat-like reflexes that W displayed while dodging some pretty dangerous shoes last week.

An Iraqi journalist, angry over--well, I don't exactly know why he was angry, but I'm sure he had a reason--threw his shoes at the President during a press conference. In the Middle East this is considered incredibly insulting and degrading and much of the region has responded--both positively and negatively--to the incident. In the U.S. this event is considered incredibly funny and much of the region has watched it over and over on YouTube.

There is a lesson here for us moms, however, that no media outlet I've seen has addressed. When you're the mom, you have to be able to move faster than you ever thought possible. You need eyes in the back of your head and a "spidey sense" that alerts you to imminent peril for your offspring.

Are the kids too quiet? Somebody is probably climbing the bookshelf. Did you hear an odd scraping sound? That was a kid dragging the kitchen chair over in order to reach the shelf above the stove with the knives stored in it. When my daughter was about 18 months old we were visiting a friend's house and she managed to tip forward one of those room dividers that is also a picture frame--this is a large, heavy object made of wood and glass that weighs about 60 pounds. Somehow, and I really am not sure how, I moved across the room and caught the thing just before it crashed into my precious baby's head.

All moms have this ability in us somewhere, but I think we could probably learn a thing or two from our President. I imagine that ever since that time he almost choked on a pretzel he's been running reflex drills to speed up his response times. So I encourage all moms out there to do the same. See how fast you can unload the groceries; have someone toss you the baby's bottle without warning; run in heels down the stairs.

We've got to stay alert--we may one day be able to save our children, not just from falling furniture and kitchen tools, but salty snacks and foreign footwear as well. If you happened to miss the President's moves, check them out at the video below from YouTube.

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