These are not the smells of the world of non-parents. My life used to smell like coffee shops and book stores. Movie popcorn and Sno Caps on a Friday night for dinner. Chinese takeout when there was no food in the fridge. Any barf or BO belonged to me and therefore, wasn't nearly as gross. I never barfed in the car, spilled milk without cleaning it up or telling anyone, or refused to admit that I might need a bath.
Generally, if I smelled bad, it was because I had been doing something productive like training for a marathon. Now if something smells bad around me, someone is probably sick. I would love to just pawn off all of the smelly things my kids require on someone else, but I don't think there are any takers. Since I have to deal with the stinkiness because my kids need me to do so, I have decided to try to kill my sense of smell. According to my online research (Health A to Z:Smelling Disorders), I have a few options:
- Take up smoking.
- Eat a lot of paint chips.
- Enter a nuclear facility without hazmat gear.
- Roll around in insecticides for a really long time.
In the meantime, we "Best Moms" have to snuggle a kid who smells like barf from time to time. We have to use strange-smelling medicines and bath products to keep them clean and healthy. We have to change their diapers, get used to spit-up, and do all of this without throwing up our own lunches even when our children have just gotten rid of theirs. It's a smelly job, but somebody has got to do it.