Monday, March 14, 2011

Best Mom Tip #125: Naked laundry. Yep, naked.

You know how you're NEVER done washing clothes? I run 7 loads of laundry every Thursday and another 7 when I wash all the bedding. I also have to do touch-up runs during the week when Little Princess needs a particular dress or when my baby has barfed on most of his clothes in one week.

It is just demoralizing to get all of that Thursday laundry finished and have all the hampers empty, just to have to put your own nasty cleaning clothes back in one. Hence, naked laundry.

For one brief, shining moment, ALL of the laundry is done. You have NO dirty clothes. Yes, the rest of your family is somewhere wearing clothes, but if you play your cards right you won't have to see it. The trick is to plan your last load to be finished while it is still school/work/nap time for everyone else.

This may take some planning. You may have to begin washing the night before. You might even have to work up to it over a couple of days.

Ah, but when you do...

Now you can dance naked around your washer and dryer in a Lord-of-the-Flies meets Florence Henderson kind of a moment. You might light a small fire atop the dryer.

I suggest singing or playing any of the following songs during your naked laundry victory dance:

That last one may not work for you--my name just happens to be Sally.

Naked laundry is wonderful and freeing and sort of like exercise if you dance long enough.

I do need to warn you that my most recent attempt didn't go exactly as planned. One lone, nude pair of thong underwear did me in. It managed to blend in with the carpet and I didn't find it until I came back into my bedroom naked and ready to dance. If that happens to you, you have two choices:
1. put it back in the drawer and pretend that it's clean or
2. throw it away

I'll let you guess what I did. Let the dance begin.

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